America DenmarkMy Family Moved From Denmark to America, and Here’s What They Learned

And what America can learn from them

6 min readDec 22, 2020

Alittle over a year ago, my husband and his two daughters moved from Denmark, voted the second happiest country in the world, to America, the eighteenth country on that list. Here’s what they think so far.

American schools look like jails

When my 10-year-old step-daughter joined a (well-ranked) public school in Brooklyn, she asked me why schools in New York looked like jails. I got defensive, but I knew what she meant. Bleak corridors, colorless rooms, barred windows, lack of fresh air, metal fences around the building — nothing about her school was “cozy,” the word so loved in her home country.

Back in Denmark, famous for its architecture, the girls’ public school looked like a building out of a design magazine. It wasn’t a repurposed structure, as it’s often the case in America, but a well-thought-through environment, meant to stimulate children’s development and growth. It provided more than just desks. The rooms were airy and filled with light. There were areas for play and relaxation, nooks for reading, and various outdoor spaces for play and studying. It reflected the Danish belief that growing up, especially for younger kids, is not about academic success but about playing, exploring, taking risks and connecting with the outdoors.

In Brooklyn, my step-daughter often spent her days in poorly, if at all, ventilated rooms, with very short outdoor breaks. For a child used to having at least two hours outside each day, regardless of the weather, it was shocking. She was also given very little time to play with her classmates and, needless to say, was having a hard time adjusting.

In Denmark, they believe that a secret to a happy society is in its youngest members. If so, shouldn’t we, in America, take greater care at accommodating their childhood needs instead of forcing them into mini-adulthood?

A public school in Copenhagen, Denmark. Photo by Anastasia Frugaard

American groceries are expensive

When my husband returned from his first grocery shopping trip in Brooklyn, he told me that he must have accidentally gone to a fancy store that sold expensive milk. He was surprised to find out that C-Town was a modest supermarket chain. After six months of overpriced food shopping in New York, we spent three weeks travelling across country by car, only to confirm that food shopping anywhere in America was expensive, compared to Europe.

Even in expensive capitals like London or Copenhagen, groceries are not only much cheaper, but of better quality too. In Denmark, organic products cost the same as their non-organic versions, so buying conventional rarely makes sense. And my English friend used to joke that California raisins cost less in England than they did in California. Jokes aside, my husband pointed out that in America, it was cheaper to eat at McDonald’s than to buy healthy food in a store.

American supermarkets might be big and entertaining, but they fail at one simple function: to provide its citizens with healthy nutrition that’s affordable. Like healthcare, food shouldn’t be expensive but in the U.S., it sadly is.

There’s too much fear in America

There’s a hot tub in our building in Los Angeles with a sign that reads “No Lifeguard On Duty,” followed by a long list of all the things that could go wrong while you’re “enjoying” yourself. Like schools, the hot tub is also surrounded by a jail-like fence, even though we live in a gated community. We got discouraged before we even got in. This obsession with warning signs, slapped on every beverage and a piece of equipment, followed us from state to state, from city to city.

To an outsider, this much is obvious: America runs on fear. You’d think in a wealthy and democratic country people should be happy. Instead, they spend a lot of time worrying about things that could go wrong instead of just, you know, enjoying life. Everything, from unleashed dogs to slippery sidewalks and Russians, is a potential threat to an American, on a personal or national level. It seems that no one is ever safe here. While a lot of it has to do with fear of litigation, it’s far from being the only cause of paranoia in the U.S.

Europeans, Danes included, have a much more relaxed attitude towards life and fix problems as they arise, instead of constantly anticipating them. My Danish family’s advice to America: chill out.

America is technologically behind

I stood in front of a tanning salon in Denmark utterly perplexed: there were no employees to let me in, even though it was within its opening hours. With a help of my translator app, I was able to figure out that, in order to tan, I simply had to download the store’s app, add a credit card, select my location and choose the tanning room. As I pressed “Submit” on my phone, the door sprung open and in I went to tan. Welcome to Denmark, where everything, from your child’s education to your healthcare, is run on apps.

In America, it was my husband’s turn to be perplexed. As he pointed out, for a country that invented the iPhone, the U.S. is surprisingly behind when it comes to technology and digitalization.

We’re still figuring out how to use chip credit cards or, even worse, writing checks, while Europe has moved on to contactless or phone pay exclusively. We still rely heavily on paper bureaucracy, while in Denmark paper transactions, and paper mail, are as rare as cash. We’re learning to use self-checkout at supermarkets, while in Denmark groceries can be scanned and paid for on your phone. New York City’s MTA is falling apart, while in London and Copenhagen many trains drive themselves. The list goes on.

My Danish family and I agree: America has a lot to learn about efficiency from its European colleagues.

Photo by Anastasia Frugaard

Americans talk too much about politics

When my oldest step-daughter landed in the U.S., she was 12 and obsessed with Friends. After a year of following American news online, all she now wants to talk about is politics. I’m surprised, but not really.

Of all times, 2020 was an odd year to start your life in America, and a perfect year to get a crash-course in American political madness. My Danish family’s takeaway? Americans are too obsessed with politics. We don’t just exercise our right to vote, we use it to breed hate and anxiety, and turn the citizens of the same country on one another, while there are so many (positive) things we could focus our attention on instead.

After all, while it’s great to practice democracy, having a country divided into two camps is not. Let’s be more united, America.